Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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