Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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