Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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