We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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