question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
