he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
