I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
