reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
