shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I have post one night stand depression
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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