if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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