So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
