If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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