I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
