Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
