I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
