i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
