i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
