D3 body, D1 cock
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
