Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
