My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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