Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
