I'm really into asian looking animals
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
