Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
