I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
