Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death

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(615): View more from Tennessee

jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell

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(905): View more from Toronto

Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.

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(206): View more from Washington

Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?

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