Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
