Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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