Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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