It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
