Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
