haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
