I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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