So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
