WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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