"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
