I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
