someone owes me an orgasm
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
