I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
