i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
