I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Your cock deserves a montage
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
