so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
