good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We need to rekindle our bromance
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
