This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
