Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
dude. I can hear the air.
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