I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
