found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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