you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
