why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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