The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
