wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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