And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
